‘Difficult’ kids coming to church
We have a group of up to 10 young people from year 7 and 8 who come along to church of their own accord each week. They come in and often disappear down to the toilets or into another room in the church building which means every week starts on a bad note with me chasing after them and bringing them back to the main church until we can go out together. However when they are in the service they will often shout inappropriately and swear and also generally turn up with a back of sweets or cans of red bull each. Their behaviour is very hard to manage and their attention span is not much better.
We have found that structured sessions are sometimes very good and short activities so they don’t get bored work well some weeks, however other weeks there have obviously been other things happening outside that trigger behaviour that means even when i have something planned they would normally enjoy my role becomes crowd control. Although I have the backing of the church there are few people with any expertise in working with children with these issues so it tends to just get left in my hands.
Does anyone have any suggestions of the type of work I could try and pursue with them, or has anyone had similar experiences so I can be reassured that my efforts are not for nothing. Most weeks I come out feeling drained, unhappy and horse from having to try and be heard.
To quote the old poem, when they are good, they are very very good, but when they are bad they’re awful!!!
The current plan is trying to do a combination of anger management and self worth with them. Does this seem appropriate?
Hi Mimi
Sounds like your feeling very ground down, I want to encourage you, as although the sessions are hard work, they young people keep coming back, and that in itself is amazing!!
I don’t work with ‘churched’ young people, but do understand the difficulties in introducing people who don’t understand how church works to that environment. Rock Solid material might be worth a look, it’s aim is to be fast paced, keep them on the go, have a bit of discussion but play lots of games. It’s aimed at young people 11-14, when discussion can be hard work as they are not used to it or ready for it. Have you asked them what topics they’d like to cover?
I go to a church plant in the middle of quite a rough estate, and young people have started coming to it. One way the church has developed relationships with them, especially the boys is through introducing a lighting rig, which the boys are trained to use. What are the young people interested in? Use it to your advantage.
Maybe something mid week might be more appropriate then a Sunday morning? More relaxed and informal.
I think your doing a grand job
Hope that helps
God bless
Gemma
hey
really good resources we use at church are ‘seasons of the spirit’ strucured but with different activities so you can pick what’ll work best.
really good background info and follows the lectionary so you’re following what the main church is doing (if you use that!)
sometimes i use the sessions as they are, somtimes i just use the background stuff and worksheets and create sessions.
material is really good cos it comes in various age groups with a number of kids/teen age groups, as well as adult and all age stuff. niceness
just also thought, we always start with highs and lows of hte week which has really helped build community into our group and gives a chance for others to see how everyone is doing. sometimes we don’t get much else don’t but it’s become a good place to vent and also celebrate with each other on the good stuff. it’s also a way to get thinking about prayer cos it’s always easy to start by using the highs and lows as a place to start talking to God